Aligning with the heart's desire...

A client’s account of how our appointments supported her during IVF:

A fertility journey is so personal and unique to each woman. This client has chosen to remain anonymous but wanted to share the impact that our appointments had on her IVF journey.

This client originally came for Reproductive Reflexology. Due to the level of anxiety that she was experiencing and the emotional and physical trauma being held, I incorporated embodiment coaching to fully support the client's needs during this time.

This is her account written in her own words:

Reproductive Reflexology with Bethan

Ever since I was a girl playing with dolls & pram, I wanted to be a Mummy Someday.

I then found myself approaching 40, still no children and no partner. A future with no children wasn't what I wanted, in fact I felt a failure for not achieving a family, something I'd always dreamed of.

SO, I made the decision to start fertility treatment as a single woman.

I started with IUI treatments as naively I thought I'd get pregnant really easily, after all I don't have fertility problems, my only issue was no partner.

IUI failed, so the next step was IVF. My first IVF cycle was a positive outcome, but unfortunately I miscarried. I then proceeded with cycles 2 & 3, but still no baby. Emotionally, physically and financially I was drained, lost as to what to do next.

I then decided to have one final IVF cycle; however, I wanted this cycle to be different. I wanted to feel calm throughout the treatment, and as relaxed as possible.

SO, I made an appointment with Bethan for reproductive reflexology. I didn't know what to expect and to be honest was sceptical, but knew I wanted to be calm for IVF, so it was worth a shot.

From the get-go Bethan was friendly, supportive, listened to my struggles & wants. We had a phone appointment first for approx. 40 mins. so Bethan could take down my details and history. I then had 5 or 6 Sessions over the IVF treatment. I'm extremely pleased to say it worked! I'm now 10 wks pregnant, a place I was beginning to lose hope of achieving.

Who knows why my 4th IVF worked, so many factors at play. But what I do know, is that I felt different during my 4th cycle, and that’s thanks to the sessions with Bethan.

I did feel more calm, more relaxed, but more than that, for the first time ever I felt deeply connected to my womb. I saw it as a place for my growing baby (its home). I could see myself as a mother, and that my body can provide all a growing baby needs. I actually enjoyed this IVF cycle, as I felt I was making my baby, not just going for scans, taking hormones, medical procedures.

I felt like a woman, connected to her body, ready to receive my embryos and grow a baby!

Thank you Bethan, your treatments & visualisations changed my IVF experience for the better.

Anon

Body Disconnect

The day that I felt completely terrified of my body was the day that I found out that I had breast cancer.  There were two lumps in my breast and two in my armpit - it had begun to spread.  The darkness dimming my inner light.

I couldn’t be alone with my body.  I felt so threatened, unsafe and scared.  

There was a comfort in having somebody with me at all times.  Even when taking a shower, I would insist that either my husband or eldest daughter would sit in the bathroom and talk to me. It felt safer, as though somehow, they could stop me from being killed by me … by my body.

In that moment, it wasn’t my body but my mind that had the power to kill me - scared of myself!  The what ifs and the dark pictures being painted.  I had become my biggest threat.

There was no protecting me.  

Until I realised that I was my most powerful remedy!

My mind was indeed a high-powered tool.  It had the potential to ruin me or rescue me.  My mind became my armour.

The positive stories that I embraced and visualised.

The mantras that I repeated to build focus and strength.

My breath became a force that soothed my whole being, dissolving anxiety and loosening the grip of fear.

I allowed my physical to be treated by a wonderful medical team.  The harshness of the treatment reflected the severity of the threat.  I nurtured my body’s response to the chemical invasion, embracing compassion and comfort in a way that was so new to me.  I was learning to interpret and respond to the subtle cues that my body was giving me.

Trust grew and connection deepened as I took each day as it came.  Slowly, the transformation that happened was truly within, on all levels.

There are many reasons why people mentally sever the connection to their body.  Reconnecting can mean plugging into pain and trauma.  Finding the inner strength to acknowledge the feeling of deep betrayal of the body, the disappointment and sadness that is bitterly lying dormant can open the doorway to forgiveness.  To embrace compassion and know that you are one, and as a whole you will be stronger. The realisation that even in the most terrifying situations both body and mind are your most loyal companions.  The mind trying hard to protect you from the physical trauma and the body adapting to whatever is needed to survive the conditions.  Understanding the delicate relationship, the intricate connections, that so effortlessly communicate, will pave the way to finding harmony within the chaos.

Shine a little light on a dark day

How to be supportive to someone with fertility issues

I work with women who are facing difficulties along their journey towards conception. I often hear how the news of a friend's pregnancy has impacted on them or how the constant inflow of advice from family and friends is overwhelming. I work with women to build their inner strength, resilience and self-help tools to rebalance following uncomfortable conversations and situations. If you know somebody who is facing fertility issues, go back to the connection that you have with them. Be open and honest and ask them what they need, how can you best support them? Don't assume that you know what's best for them.

This article by Nicky Reed from Nature 4 life offers a very helpful guide on how to support a friend or loved one who is experiencing fertility issues. It can feel extremely lonely when going through fertility treatment, by remaining present instead of recoiling through fear of not knowing how to be, could make a huge difference to somebody. Be the light that brightens somebody's dark day.

Follow the link below to read the full article

Supporting Someone With Fertility Issues - Reproductive Reflexologists